‘I’ll book it in tentatively.’   ‘There’s no point beating around the bush. There no other time. Either we do it then or we don’t do it...

I don’t have time to Assemble a decent verse Open the jarred paste

Impasto thinking an overlapping chaos brain swamped in paint splats

Misread calendar Deadline closer than I thought Face like mushroom pate

‘Yes, I’ll just get the paper from the office, one moment… Wait a minute, what’s this?’   A corner of the room has mushroomed into a lump...

First Park Run in years Instils the rosy glow of A ripe tomato

Wind up the tomato, we have 20 minutes. What will you say, in your allotted time? Tick tick tick tick.   Equivalencies of time to money,...

8 – us, the children and the dog 7 – years since we were OK 6 - rooms to sleep and play 5 – dust-boxed school records 4 – fibs, fiddles...

‘November.’ She glowers at the wall chart. ‘There are too many gaps in the to-do list from January.’   ‘You haven’t done too badly. We...

My tables Water table Tabulate Tibia Tabitha Jicama Pemmican Porcelain Pachyderm Panacea Piecemeal Pancreas ‘Popotamus Otter bus Totter...

‘I can’t do it, Marge.’   ‘Yes you can, all you need is reach a bit further.’   ‘I can’t! My belly’s in the way!’   ‘Breathe in and...

‘It’s all because of the bloody Romans.’   ‘What?’   ‘Aunt Lizbeth threatened to disinherit me.’   ‘Seriously? What did the Romans have...

‘We don’t know anything about this girl. You can’t just go and marry her.’   ‘But Mum she’s a princess.’   ‘So she says.’   ‘Look, the...

Penkethman’s Pest Exterminators. Peter Penkethman had built the business up from nothing. Not it was a household name. If you’re about to...

‘He’s off the rails.’ ‘You really need to rein him in.’ ‘Rein in? How? I don’t have any say here.’ ‘You have a say when he spends half...

‘I didn’t know where to look, I swear.’ ‘What do you mean? She couldn’t really have.’ ‘I tell you, she was sitting there, dressing gown...

Palm to palm is holy palmer’s kiss. Hand Give me your hands. When April, with its showers sweet, the drought of March has pierced to the...

I thought it was geophysics that drew me to her. Nothing to do with volition. Asphalt ley lines through the concrete jungle, inexorable....

‘Amo, amare, amavi, amatus’ The TV screen is grainy. The school collars and accents starched and restrained. The colour absent. They...

Shit. What am I going to do if this goes tits up? It’s my first proper heist with the Barnsley Boys and I have everything to prove. Got...