Access Denied! - Elaine Abery

She walked up to her front door and grabbed the door handle to pull as she fumbled in her bag for her keys with the other hand.

First try. Access denied, chastened an electronic American-tinged voice.

Embarrassed and more than a little puzzled, she looked around. Was she in the right place? She stepped back onto the road and checked the entry… and house number for good measure. Sure enough, the house looked like their home, the street number and location were correct.

She walked back to the front door, keys not safely in hand. Holding the key in front of her, like a weapon, she advanced towards the door. But, the key simply hit the door, where the keyhole should be.

You have one more attempt before access is blocked for 30 minutes.

Was someone playing some kind of sick joke? She was seriously busting for a pee. Not to mention that her stomach was starting to growl and demand lunch.

I’ll walk around and try the back entrance, she thought, looking around her surroundings suspiciously as she went around the house. Really, she was expecting someone to jump out from behind a corner or tree, shouting…

Surprise! Gotcha!

And remove the blu-tac or sticky tape from the keyholes.

Furtively, she inched her head around the back corner of the house.

I’ll prank the jokester, she thought.

Silence.

As closely as she could without leaving her hiding place, she examined the keyhole. Again, it had been hidden. No surprise there.

Someone had done a great job.

Okay. I give up! She called loudly, hands in the air.

You got me good. You can come out now and let me in before I pee myself.

Silence

More silence.

Darn! She thought, running to pee behind a bush.

Who on earth has set this up? It’s really clever, well-planned and set-out.

Slowly, she advanced on the back door, taking her shoes off and putting her socks on her hands, stealth-mode. Closing her eyes, she felt the door. This time, there was no voice. She still couldn’t find a keyhole or any way to unlock the door. Just the door handle, that didn’t seem to work.

She tugged the door handle, at first softly, then harder and more and more desperately.

Her hunger was gnawing at the insides of her stomach.

What are these stupid things for, anyhow?

She ripped the socks as she tore them off her hands.

Access denied. Entry is now locked for 30 minutes, sing-songed the annoying American voice.

She started banging her head against the door, harder and harder.

Warning! Warning! Attempts to force the door will automatically activate a call to emergency services!

Exhausted, hungry, exasperated, she slid to the ground.

Grandma! A young face was looking at her quizzically.

Are you ok Grandma? She blinked as the face came into focus, eyes level with hers and very close.

Oh dear, you have hit your head. Here, let me wash off the blood. Gentle hands caressed her forehead.

Who was this young man?