France - David Gairdner

Tobit France. What kind of name is that?

The name my mother gave me. And the last name a bastard forebear gave himself, probably wanting to sound fancy in a village he escaped to.

Have you done one of those DNA tests?

No, I don't trust it.

Maybe you are French?

Why would someone from France give themselves the name France? Nope, it was some guy who gurgled up out of a bog in some UK shithole.

There are plenty of shitholes in France.

What are you harping on about?

I want to know where my baby is from.

Here!

I know from here, but its…background.

Australia.

But you're aboriginal?

No.

What do you mean no?

No, I'm not aboriginal. What's with the tone? You're saying I don't have an Australian background, even though my family's been here since the convicts? I'm as Australian as anyone.

Have you thought about changing your name then?

To what?

From Tobit France to Tobit Australia.

That's just stupid. I'm a France and my child will be a France. Hey, do you think… I could name our baby? With their first name.

Name them what?

Sky.

Why Sky?

Because no one owns that. Sky France.

That sounds bloody stupid, Tobit.

Ohh, how about this: Tobit France the 2nd?

There are already too many Tobit Francis in the world.

Yeah, I guess you're right.