Roger - Elaine Abery

“It’s a tough one!”

“It’s me bloody name. Always getting me into trouble. I mean who the fuck calls theirs their kid Sodomy?”

Laughter, Louder laughter guffaws.

“Oh man!” he’s laughing so hard that he’s having to wipe the tears from his face. “Remember that time when…..” male loud laughs.

“We lost you in that park in the city. It was getting dark and we were running around, getting more and more frantic, worried something had happened to you, yelling at the top of our lungs “Roger, Roger?”

“I think….” Laughter “We started a stampede. Between the parents with kids running to get out of there, the middle-aged or elderly straight men, holding their asses as they scurried away.”

They are hooting with laughter now.

“And those couple of well-dressed young men whose eyes lifted expectantly, till they saw us riffraff with beer guts.”

“And, of course, all along, bloody Roger had fallen asleep in the sun and rolled under his bloody chair.”

“It doesn’t help that Roger is an accident waiting to happen. Can’t tie his own bloody shoelaces without stuffing it up & tripping himself up.”

“Your ma was so happy when they brought out Velcro shoes. Presented them to him like they were the best thing since sliced bread. Her face beaming well, my face was pretty messed up from tripping over the clothesline that arvo.”

“Ah, Roger. You’re a cracker of a bloke. Always working so hard to keep us all amused.”

“OMG! That time we were wheeling you in the emergency, all laughing so hard we had snot coming outta our noses!”

“The looks we got!”

“That old fogey telling us to bugger off elsewhere with our jokes, till he took one look at Roger……”You boys should be ashamed of yourselves! Making fun of someone else’s misery.”

Between lads “I just said ‘he’s been Rogered? When they asked what happened. Nurse smacked my bottom & called for security to get us outta there.”

“Did they check your butthole for marks? Or not take us seriously?”

”Oh no! They checked! Something about taking reports seriously.”

“So you have been rogered then, apart from just plain old Rogering through life.”

“So what did happen that time?”

Giggles punctuated by silence.

“Was not the time?”

“Nah, it was…”

“You lot are useless. It was at Surfers walking back to our motel room late at night. Maybe not rolling back. Someone thought they heard my name being called. You bloody well said, ‘he’s here.’”

“And this guy as wide as a brick shithouse appears otta nowhere, lands two pearlers on me face & stomach, then walks off. Fat lot a good you lot was.”

“It all happened so quickly.”

“Did you know him?”

“Never saw him before in real life. Still haven’t. I just remember that threatening shadow. It still visits me in my nightmares.”

“Turned out it was a set up. Someone’s idea of a joke.”