Tall Tales - Carol Gano

Shorties (3 mins)

SO shorties, just like miniskirts?

No they’re called ‘SMALLS’.

Not for little people – little clothing!

What, for midgets?

No! Your smallest undergarments.

Oh! (Blush) (Blush!) (Blush!)

NO!!

Not those you gutter-brain! Just your every day, day-to-day basics!

You’re no fun!

Well.

I never.

That’s right. You never did!

 ___

(17 mins)

How did you ever conceive?

Well, you know I never did!

Never did what?

Never pursued the life of a mother –

You chose to give her to the infertile couple was more than feeling unready to parent. And then, when our parents aged it was stoic of you to parent them.

‘Yes. Yes. Yes.’

‘The nappies, the medication, the Dr’s appointments, the smaller and smaller radius of exploration rather than with children, whose life explorations continue to enlarge. There is something extraordinarily sad about the candle of life extinguishing, rather than reaching towards the sun… the shrinking over the expanding…the dimming, not brightening. And too, the reduction of sight, sound, conversation, locomotion. The slow loss of skills and abilities of the elderly is a fact of aging, not a tall tale.

You wanted a tall tale?

Yes but we were supposed to explain how the giraffe got its long neck, or, why cheetahs are the fastest cat in the savannah or… Never mind. You did your best. We all love that you can and do take care and watch over and feed the parents. It is a job none of us can do – but you are there and able.

It’s either down to love or money. All I can offer is time – which is as close as it comes to love – when the objects (parents) of my affections can no longer see, hear, talk or bathe.

‘Maybe you need a carer’s holiday to the Islands?’

We will send you!

Here’s your Xmas present early. A trip for eight weeks to the Island of your choice!