Vesna McMaster – Grand

‘We don’t know anything about this girl. You can’t just go and marry her.’

‘But Mum she’s a princess.’

‘So she says.’

‘Look, the Pintocratic Kingdom is right here. Here’s a picture of her.’

‘Hm.’

Her Majesty gazes down her nose at the Wikipedia page. ‘We’ll test that.’

The next morning, the Queen greets the stranger whom her son had brought in out of a storm, and who claimed to be royalty from the Kingdom of Pinto.

‘How did you sleep?’

‘Oh, terribly. The silk nightcap wasn’t of the quality I’m used to, and the sheets were so rough! And I only ever sleep in a room overlooking the sea, I feel so stifled with this mountain view. My bedroom is much grander in the Pintocratic Kingdom.’

‘Hm.’ The Queen cocks an eyebrow. ‘Never mind. We have a picnic with some ambassadors today. You may attend, together with the other court ladies. I have prepared a gown for you. It is by the finest designer in the land.’

On the way to the picnic, all the court ladies pick up their trains, careful not to dirty them in the mud. The strange princess runs through the grass, staining the haute couture train deep green and brown.

‘You’re ruining your new dress,’ the Queen remarks.

‘On, it’s of no import. I have much grander in the Pintocratic Kingdom.’

The Queen again narrows her eyes. The Prince shoots his mother a triumphant gaze.

The only item the ‘Princess’ had with her when she appeared at the door of the castle was a small device – such as you would keep your calendar on, no more. The Princess withdraws to a quiet corner of the wood and flips it open.

‘What now?’ she whispers into it.

‘Now she will demand to see your parents, and your kingdom.’

‘But my parents are peasants, and what’s more, they’re dead.’

‘I’ll sort it out. There is no history that AI cannot create. Just make sure you stop and talk to exactly whom I tell you to on the way. Now back to the court. I have emails to send.’