Vesna McMaster – Personality

Penkethman’s Pest Exterminators. Peter Penkethman had built the business up from nothing. Not it was a household name. If you’re about to obliterate something you’ll ‘go the full Penkethman’ on it. ‘Call Penkethman’s on this one!’ goes the cry when there’s a right royal cock-up to deal with. Penkethman’s takes the town to the cleaners. Arachnids, aphids, bedbugs, caterpillars, roaches, rats, rabbits… The family business is responsive to community needs, and if Mrs Bramble has an issue with slugs on her silver beet, she knows Penkethman’s will at least give her the name of someone to deal with it, if they can’t take care of it themselves.

So when Ralph Penkethman came in, took his hat off, scratched his head, and flatly refused to deal with the issue, Harold was surprised, to say the least.

‘What do you mean, you won’t?’

‘Frog’s got personality.’

‘But you dealt with Maurice’s squirrels. I saw you myself, slinging those cute little carcasses into the van.’

‘Wasn’t frogs.’

‘You do raccoons, for Christ’s sake. They’re adorable.’

‘Not like frogs. I’m sorry.’

And with that, Ralph Penkethman turned and walked out.

Much as this was highly unusual, no one knows why Harold took such umbrage to this refusal of service. He stated open-mouthed at the retreating Penkethman’s can.

‘Well, he said as the dust settles on the driveway. ‘He must know some charming goddam frogs.’

And that was the start of the Blooms and Penkethman’s feud which has brought so much bloodshed to this quiet town.